Q: This is a very teen magazine question but I'm really struggling with my parents about my decision to get tattoos. Right now I have around 9 but they're all relatively small and on my ankles. A lot of them are from my later teen years, when my parents and I were fighting a lot. I think they associate my having them with teen rebellion, but I don't think they understand that it's something I intend to keep doing-- I relate a lot to what you said about how they help with disassociation, they also help me feel agency when I want to self-harm.
I'm planning on getting ferns tattooed on my shoulder caps/a little bit on my collarbone within the next two years-ish (saving money/finding artist etc.), but I know my parents would be really disappointed in me. My dad would probably get over it as long as they were covered, but my mom might not be able to look me in the eyes for a while. She's so offended by the idea that she won't even hear me out about it.
I know there's no perfect solution but I was wondering if you had any stories about this kind of thing, and maybe just navigating life as someone with a lot of tattoos?
Thanks for any advice, hope you're doing well <3
A: Okay, imma give you my most honest advice, please take it with a grain of salt since I don’t know your parents and how they’d react.
At the end of the day it’s YOUR body and as an adult you’re allowed to do anything you want with it. That’s the most important thing.
Your parents not wanting you to get tattoos is an act of love for them even though it might not feel that way. They probably just want the best for you and they might be under the impression that tattoos will prevent you from getting a certain job etc etc. You’re their baby, and at the end of the day it is their job to love you unconditionally…. so in my experience if you get tattoos they’ll get over it eventually. I think there is something to say especially for how it helps you and your relationship to your body as you describe above, if they can’t empathize with that in the long run… i’m not sure.
My parents were pretty chill about the tattoo thing and now have some themselves. My grandparents on the other hand are VERY Jewish and were very very very mad about the tattoos cause you technically cant be buried in a Jewish cemetery if you’re tatted. There is also a direct emotional tie with Jews and tattoos because of the Holocaust. They fucking brought it up every time I saw them for YEARS and it was kind of upsetting. BUT even they got over it eventually and they got used to seeing them.
I will say if you still live with them maybe hold up on getting anything really huge, just to save yourself the inescapable hassle. Once you support yourself it’s a little easier to advocate on your own behalf and your decisions.
Also I personally advocate for not getting anything high commitment (large or highly visible) until you’re like at least 20…. my oldest tattoos are my least favorite. I still like having them but I would do a few differently now for sure.
I hope this was helpful! Please don’t show your parents this if you decide to get a big tattoo and sue me or something. I don’t know how that works.